so i really like going back to beijing. when i was growing up, i always went back to beijing for holidays, long or short. i almost never stayed in hk for holidays. to me, hk is just a place for me to study. beijing is where my home is. i really like the guys from northern region of china. 北京男孩兒很有男孩的範兒. like when they talk right, they have this 兒化音 and like they are so tall and built. and they are so not gay looking. they are really masculine without trying. i don't know why a

oh another thing i don't like about gordon, is that he is jason's good friend right. they like went to barcelona in a group of hk people freshman year. jason is the most pretentious guy i have ever known in my entire life. like the places that normal people travel are like japan, korea, germany, italy, england or like taiwan and france right. but jason freaking like went to all these places i have never even heard of. like central asia, afghanistan, croatia, pakistan, saudi a

i first saw gordon in a photo on facebook. he was at jason's birthday party. i noticed he was korean. and after a short while, i saw him in person, outside john jay dining hall. i was with sammy and kelly at the time. you know i was always with sammy and kelly cos we like lived together for four years. i was introduced to gordon by jason. gordon said something that was funny, i laughed. and he said my face was funny. that was a bit offensive. i don't know why he like commente

because of mingyu, i have become a hopeless romantic. i admit that actually before I met mingyu, i never believed in love. period. no further explanation needed. hk is a very materialistic place. everyone just cares about money. marriage is calculated. there is no love in this city. to be honest, i think hk is a very skewed place. i don't like where i came from. if i could, i would rather live in another city, like beijing, seoul, or whatever place. just not hk. i don't like

do you know what Beijing people hate the most? stinginess. cheap behavior. what is considered cheap in beijing? stinginess when you order food. in beijing, my mother always ordered a lot of food if she had friends coming over from beijing. if you want to take people out for dinner, and if you want to save money, you may as well not take them to dinner cos it is actually doing you an anti flavor. if you originally try to take people out for dinner to win a deal, or win some he

I had a Korean 선배. His name is Joseph (Lee Jie). He was a grad student studying master at Columbia. He went to hamilton college for undergrad. He is very funny because he always says some funny things that don't make any sense. I think Koreans are very funny. Like they are so serious when they say trash. Like they mean it. Okay, so this 선배 right, he says his name is Lee Jie so he says he is a very observant and understanding person. He says he understands me very well cos he

So as I said, sophomore year, mingyu disappeared from my radar. I moved on with my life. Took classes at the engineering school. Worked on assignments. Earned money as the TA in the math department. I had like internships lining up and I went to all those recruiting events and stuff to hopefully get a job. I already knew I probably would major in IEOR, for a bunch of reasons I explained earlier. I actually told Kelly so many times that I like 張晨 and as I said, she didn't appr

Actually, I worked so hard in high school that I felt like a machine. HK is very fast paced. And hectic. It was only through Columbia that I felt that I am finally human. Through living with my friends like Sammy and Kelly, that I felt I have a heart. That I have feelings. That I am a human with affections. I don't feel that in HK. I felt true friendships, I felt true love when I was with my friends at Columbia. Mingyu was like my 白月光. 可遠觀而不可褻瀆....Still that feeling of being

Even though he already went out with my friend, I still looked forward to all the events organized by KSA, all the meetings, model auditions, and outings and drinking sessions. I still think I would like to be around him, even as his gf's best friend. To be honest, I think I could not date him even if he asked me out in freshman year. I had a boyfriend. And even if I was single, he is too hot to be around me, plus he is a pre med. I noticed something. Mingyu never stood next

One of the reasons why I like Mingyu is that he can read my mind. Without me telling him anything. Like we are in sync. But Gordon Park doesn't seem to really care. Or understand me on a deeper level. I think he is just a very jealous person. All he thinks about is whether I am in love with another person. But Mingyu seems to care about something a little less personal than that, like macro stuff. Very hard to explain. Whatever, maybe not. I just think that Mingyu is very obs

I had a lot of memories with mingyu, as a friend, and as his gf's best friend. Our relationship is platonic, of course. But my secret admiration for him is consistent. I don't like to show my affections. So I guess, even as his gf's best friend, I am still okay. I like to be around him, even though he already went out with Sammy. Me and Sammy were like really good friends. We were not in competition or anything. I sincerely think that she should go out with him too. Maybe bec

I went to an all girls school most of my life. But unfortunately, I had to go to college and I had a boyfriend at Yale. Even though it was long distance, it was unevitable that we had to spend weekends together. Therefore, we had to sleep together. I remember that feeling of intimacy with him. He is a sex addict. He has sex like eight days a week and he used me as a sex slave. I was just a hole to dissipate his sex drive and semens. And he liked to take pictures with me to br

Sammy took me to get a fake ID during orientation week. But it was so fake that I never got to use it. Sammy and I were really good friends. We ate together. We went to class together. She cooked for me when I had cramps. She took me to those Korean convenience stores to get microwavable rice. I told her my hands were so cold that my skin kinda cracked. She immediately bought me a pair of gloves from Gap. I have never been treated this nice by any friends in HK. I grew up in

So I am going to share a bit of information regarding whom I have liked for a long time. As you may know, I am actually a super shy and introverted person. The reason for this is becos I live in a very chaotic and competitive environment. I don't like to express my feelings, my likings, my love, my admiration. Because once it is exposed, it may very soon be taken away from me, due to heavy competition. I have never shared this deepest secret of mine until like really recently

A few days ago, when I was about to get up in the morning, a few words just popped up in my mind, like out of the blue. Would attraction suffice? The type of guys I am attracted to hasn't changed since the age of 3, at least for me. I still like the same type of guys. My first ever crush was my fiance, Oliver. He was a skater boy. He talks and walks like a black dude. Wealthy, good looking, not nerdy and much taller than me. Like an older brother. We used to meet every week.

我要多謝我的其中一個好友。 我在李寶春的時候，其實朋友並不是很多。 我的李寶春朋友大部分都是瑪利諾的校友，包括我的同房，還有 Mandy Ho 和梅景欣。 我和她們並不是出雙入對的，因為我們住在不同的宿舍大樓裡。 其中，梅景欣同學尤其誇張。她有一個男朋友，名字叫 Pierre，他是一個住在港大附近的低密度住宅和修讀法律系的筍盤。他畢業自聖保羅男校，梅景欣同學幾乎和他是每天共對。每一次我和梅景欣出街的時候，她都說很想念她的男友。她和男友幾乎是完全不分開的。她為了和 Pierre 一起升學英國，幾乎不怎麼花心思在美國大學的報名程序上，所以她在美國報名程序上，可謂全軍覆沒，一所大學都沒有考進。她的履歷其實相當亮麗。 她是一個從德望轉到瑪利諾的女生。她的爸爸是公務員。他們一家住在荃灣。由於她爸爸是公務員，所以她有英國護照。她去英國讀書的話，幾乎是不用付錢的。但是英國的住宿費也很貴啊。她好像都負擔得了，證明她還是有點錢的。 她是瑪利諾的田徑選手。可以說是文武雙全。 她的樣子也很漂亮，尤其以狀元的標準來說。放榜那天，我們都同時上了東方日報頭版。但是，她是大頭

我不知道為什麼何美賢會選擇在卡內基梅倫大學修讀電腦。 可能，她覺得我想修讀電腦？ 我也不知道為什麼何美賢現在到處搞畫展。 可能，她覺得我想搞畫展？ 其實，我從來沒有過當畫家或者擺畫展的理想，因為我知道我不會畫畫。 但是，我很喜歡看畫展。 還記得，當年是大學四年級，我要選擇修讀藝術或者音樂。這是哥倫比亞大學的核心課程，不可以 opt out，我一定要二選一，選一個。因為我不會音樂，也蠻討厭古典音樂的，所以我就選擇了修讀藝術歷史。 我很喜歡這門課。這門課需要我們去紐約下城的 metropolitan museum 和 guggenheim museum 去實地參觀。回來，要寫感想。 當時我經歷了一個暑假的投資銀行生活，我覺得會計、投資銀行部實在不是人做的工作。也有點懷疑我是否選錯了專業，但可幸的是，當時我還修了一門藝術。我覺得藝術課和會計師，是兩個對立的工作，是相反的。我這才意識到原來藝術是那麼的舒壓，簡直就是我當時感覺混沌的一個出口和迷濛中的答案。 藝術講究主觀，和讀理工科的我，完全是 spectrum 中的另一端。我討厭極了那些 excel sp

我想在此澄清一點，那就是，我不會畫畫。 我說過很多次，我沒有特別技能。 我不會看五線譜，不會畫畫，也不會琴棋書畫。我不打機。空餘時間，我只喜歡 do nothing，與朋友吹水，和看電視。 我說過很多次，嘉諾撒聖方濟各的成績表，只有中英數、社會、科學、健教有分數。 音樂、體育、藝術，只有 ABCD。它們的分數，不會算進去總分。 所以，在課餘時間，我做完功課以後，就 relax and chill。 我不會沒事找事來做，我不會溫習功課，我不會多做練習。學校叫我做多少題，我就做多少題。不會多，也不會少。從小到大，我都不是成績拔尖的人。但我承認，我是一個好學生。我是風紀、班長。學校叫我做的，我會做；學校叫我不要做的，我也不會做。我通常都按時交功課，除非功課不計分數。我的所有成績，從小學到大學，大部分都是 A-C，也就是七十分以上。我從來沒有拿過 D，除了會考的英語口語和中文作文以外，不要問我為什麼，我也不知道。 我所有的默書、小測、考試，都是七十分以上的。即便是我最不喜歡的科目，我也是拿七十分以上的。我不是一個對自己要求很高的人，但是，我上課會聽書，功

一直以來，我都沒有過愛情的感覺。 什麼是愛情？ 其實，我也不知道。 我只知道，社會要求我們女生嫁出去。適當的時候，應該認識男生，然後談戀愛。到了適婚年齡，我就應該結婚、生孩子。 社會都有一套既定模式。 曾經何時，我也覺得，我會結婚的。我應該找一個白領之類的男生，然後結婚。住在港島，生了孩子以後，負責照顧小朋友。 我曾經，覺得這就是我要的生活。因為我的社會就是這種工廠式的流水線倒模。每個人都是這樣過日子的。我覺得，我應該會結婚的，可能是聖保羅男女的同學，也可能是華仁的校友。 反正，我覺得這種生活，不能說是非常幸福，但是，也不是完全遙不可及。 所以，我一直認為，我和其他人沒有區別。 什麼時候我開始改變的呢？ 我覺得是從哥倫比亞大學的第一年級開始。 自從 Jason 介紹我認識 Gordon Park 以後，其實一開始，對他沒有什麼深刻印象。但是他有時候會出現在 Jason 的生日派對，我覺得他有點意思。到了後來，我在健身室看見他。我覺得他很有型，身形也很標準。但是，我也沒有要追求他的意思。只是純粹覺得他外型很突出而已。 後來，在學校的時裝表演，我在台

I have a confession to make. 在我和初戀許卓雄拍拖的期間，他經常帶我去篤波。 那是在皇室堡的樓上，有幾個桌球室。那裡很多人抽煙。 他帶我去，主要是因為他很喜歡打桌球。 不知道為什麼聖保羅男女的同學好像都有很多技能。 比如說，不會任何樂器和唱歌的許卓雄，其實空餘時間，都在篤波。 他好像已經拿了加拿大全國第一的一等獎。 他帶我去打桌球的時候，桌球室裡的人都認識他。看來，他是經常去。 我那時候是第一次去這種地下桌球室。 說實在的，聖保羅男女的同學蠻多黑社會的。我和 Tracy、鄺敏慧出去唱 k 的時候，他們經常會叫一些校外的朋友一起加入。他們很多都是不務正業，或者是有黑社會背景的。 許卓雄就更不用說啦，他叫他朋友打電話給我，說他爸爸是黑社會老大。 我的哥哥也是黑社會。 所以，我沒有什麼排斥。 但說實在的，嘉諾撒聖方濟各的同學好像正氣很多。每一次我回去母校，都有一股被神殿的光所罩著的感覺。可能是因為小時候住在星街，經常疑神疑鬼，那邊陰氣很重。但，自從點了些聖水之後，就完全沒有頭痛的感覺。我覺得很神奇，所以，每當我覺得有陰氣的時